Showing posts with label CJ Kaplan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CJ Kaplan. Show all posts

Thursday, July 17, 2014

CJ Kaplan: What My First-Grade Son Taught Me About Art

This post originally appeared on The Good Men Project

After seeing his son’s excitement about Degas, Picasso, and Warhol—CJ Kaplan realizes that teaching is an art form.

My son Eric is a little obsessed. As the youngest of three, he is in a constant struggle to keep pace with his older brother and sister. His efforts have made him hyper-competitive, especially in sports. Where my daughter Samantha considers all athletic endeavors (and I’m quoting here) “stupid” and my son Alex relishes the game more than the result, Eric treats even his Boys U8 soccer matches as a life or death proposition.

Part of this is a consequence of Eric being four years younger than Alex and always having to “play up” and prove himself in any contest involving Alex’s friends. It’s made him a hell of an athlete and a fearless competitor, but it’s also made him place too much weight on the outcome of something as inconsequential as a two-on-two game of hoops in the driveway.

Cohabiting alongside the fierce warrior persona within this little boy there is also a very sensitive soul. Eric has a small army of stuffed animals that he anthropomorphizes through a series of imagined personalities, voices and backstories. (I have a lot to do with the last of these traits since I’ve spent nearly every long car ride of Eric’s childhood making up stories about my kids’ stuffed animals to pass the time. To date, Fuzzy, Foof-Foof and Ring Dog have individually or collectively won the Stanley Cup, the Super Bowl, the World Series of Poker and an episode of Jeopardy!) Because his stuffed animals have inherited these very human characteristics, Eric has also given them feelings. He worries that they miss him while he’s at school and that they might be sad or lonely while he’s away. Often, my wife Lisa or I will place a few chosen dogs and bears in the window next to our front door so that they appear to be waiting for him when he gets home. My son deserves a hero’s welcome at the end of the day.

♦◊♦

Recently, Eric completed his year in first grade in such spectacular fashion that I feel compelled to share it with anyone who will listen. His teachers, Gabrielle Gelinas and Kristen Willand, delved into Eric’s sensitive side and made him care passionately about something other than sports.

For the past several months, Eric’s class has been studying influential artists of the past five centuries. They started with Michelangelo and worked their way up through Dale Chihuly. Along the way, they covered such greats as Monet, Degas, O’Keefe, Calder, Picasso, Pollack and Warhol. Pretty heady stuff for a group that considers Sponge Bob Square Pants high culture, no? Yet the whole class was enthralled, embracing and absorbing each successive artist with a zeal usually reserved for a Disney premiere. And nobody in the class was more captivated than my son the sports nut.

The first time we noticed this phenomenon was when we were discussing a dancer we had seen on TV. I remarked offhandedly that this particular dancer was very small in stature.
“You mean like “The Little Dancer?” Eric piped in.

“Uh…” I began slowly, buying time. “Do you mean “Tiny Dancer,” the Elton John song? (Eric has had a full dose of classic rock in his lifetime.)

“No, I mean like “The Little Dancer” by Edgar Degas,” Eric replied, looking at me like I was as dumb as box of rocks.

“Oh,” I answered, doing nothing to change his opinion of me.

After that, I would go to tuck him in at night and he would regale me with what he learned that day about Cubism or Impressionism or Abstract Expressionism. He lectured me on brush strokes and the use of forced perspective and the inspiration one could find in cow skulls. He talked about these things with the same casual confidence he has when discussing the efficacy of the Bruins’ third line in the playoffs.

“How,” I asked Lisa, “are they getting him so excited about art?”

The answer came in two signature events that culminated the school year.

The first was a trip to the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. Eric’s class and another first grade class that had been studying these artists went into the city to see real art—live and in person. Ms. Gelinas and Ms. Willand had gone to the MFA earlier in the year and researched what was going to be on exhibit in the spring. So when the children burst into the hallowed halls of the gallery, all the pieces that they had loved and admired in their books and slides were on display before them. Lisa was a chaperone on this field trip and she describes the scene as follows:

“Every time they found a piece that they had studied, they jumped and cheered. Honestly, they could not have been more excited if they found Dustin Pedroia in the museum.”

“The Little Dancer” was there and Eric had his picture taken in front of it. We he told me about the experience, I shared his joy.

“Isn’t it amazing that there is artwork so special that it travels around the world so people can see and enjoy it?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” he said. “There’s only one “Little Dancer” in the world and I got to see it today.”

♦◊♦

The second event that made me understand and appreciate how my son had fallen in love with art occurred on one of the last nights of the school year. We parents were invited to “A Night At The Museum” in the elementary school auditorium

As we sat expectantly in the theatre seats, the first graders filed in and took their places on the stage. The teachers welcomed us to the show and then the children took over. What followed was a retrospective of the entire semesters’ study of art. Each artist was given an introduction by the children without notes or cue cards, followed by a slide show, song or skit that represented the artist’s work.

For Calder, they staged a circus complete with a ringmaster, pantomimed strongmen and acrobats walking imaginary tightropes. For Degas, there was a “history of dance” which included The Twist, The Loco-Motion and The Hustle. For Warhol, they sang a song called “Pop Andy” in reference to his pioneering work in Pop Art. (The subversive part of me hoped they would sing “Venus in Furs” from the album The Velvet Underground and Nico, for which Warhol did the famous banana cover art. Alas, there was no mention of Lou Reed or any of the Factory Superstars.)

As the revue played out, it became evident from the still images in the slideshows why the class was so invested in these artists. Ms. Gelinas and Ms. Willand had taken pictures of the children “becoming” each artist they studied.

To understand what it was like for Michelangelo to paint the Sistine Chapel, they had taped paper to the bottom of their desks and lay on the floor painting upside down. To appreciate the joy and freedom of Pollack, they went outside and splashed paint over a giant canvas (and each other). To mimic Chihuly, the painted the inside of empty plastic water bottles and strung them together in a hanging sculpture.

At a time when interactive has become synonymous with an app or a website, Ms. Gelinas and Ms. Willand made art a living, breathing thing for the children in her class. How could they not help but fall head over heels?

The show was a full hour without interruption and the kids executed it with the precision of a Broadway production. You could see them mouthing each other’s lines as they waited for their cues. Even the dance choreography was flawless.

Afterward, we were invited downstairs to the classrooms to view each child’s own personal “gallery.” When we got there, we discovered that every student had been given a two by six foot section of wall upon which hung their most prized creations from the semester affixed to a giant piece of construction paper. Eric’s “gallery” featured drawings, poetry, sculptures, 3-D art and his reflections on his favorite artists.

I have been fortunate enough to wander through the exhibits at the Louvre and the d’Orsay, but neither could elicit the surge of emotion I felt standing in front of Eric’s collection of work. The entire installment is currently draped across our dining room table while we figure out how to frame or otherwise preserve it.

There is a reason we hold special teachers in our hearts forever. They help us discover something about ourselves that we never would have known otherwise. So, it didn’t surprise me that Eric was ambivalent about the end of the school year.

“I’m happy that school is over for the summer,” he said. “But, I really loved my first grade class.”


Yeah, I thought, so did I.

Monday, June 24, 2013

Guest Post - The Talk: Cruising Towards Puberty

The following guest post from Temple Beth Shalom member CJ Kaplan originally appeared on The Good Men Project blog:

“Dad, I need your help with my homework,” pressed my soon to be 11-year-old son, Alex.

“Sure,” I said, looking up from my half-eaten meal. “But, can I finish dinner first?”

“Yeah, but it’s got to be you. It can’t be Mom,” he insisted.

“Okay, okay. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Clearing my plate and walking into the office/play area where my kids alternately study and watch TV, I found Alex sitting on the couch holding a single piece of paper.

“I have to ask you these questions for Health Class,” he said. And without further preamble, he began.

♦◊♦

Ah yes, Health Class. The new moniker for what we used to call “Sex Ed.” That was the class where the teacher used to pull out charts, graphs, filmstrips and animated renderings of the human reproductive systems in an effort to explain how babies were made while twenty-four 5th graders giggled uncontrollably. This section of the school year also included the day when all the girls were mysteriously spirited away to a secret underground bunker to learn about their menses while us boys got to talk openly about nocturnal emissions and ask questions like: How much masturbation is too much? The answer: It all depends on how much chaffing you can stand.

Today, Sex Ed has expanded to include personal hygiene, how to deal with bullying and how to curate your online persona. (That last one may or may not be true.)

I suppose advocating for the use of deodorant has given the school board license to use the far less incendiary Health Class in lieu of the giggle-inducing Sex Ed. But, make no mistake. They’re still talking about penises and vaginas in there.

♦◊♦

I’m pleased to say that Alex was not unfamiliar with the material being covered in Health Class. He and I had discussed the mechanics of sex before he went away to overnight camp last summer. I didn’t want him learning about the X’s and O’s of intercourse from some kid on the tetherball court, so we sat on a bench outside a Fresh City Wraps. (He’ll never look at a Chicken Caesar Walkabout the same way again.) and I gave him the lowdown. He listened attentively, asked a few questions and then finished his mango-strawberry smoothie in relative silence. I told him that he was always welcome to come to me with any questions about sex or his body or any new development that he didn’t understand. But, he’d remained fairly mum on the subject. Until now.

♦◊♦

Question #1

Alex (reading from the paper): What do you remember most about puberty and growing up?

Me (crossing my legs and furrowing my brow in a professorial manner): Hmm. I remember that hair started showing up in strange places (pointing meaningfully to my crotch and my armpits) and that my voice started changing. I also remember that my main goal in life at the time was to see a naked woman.

Alex (laughing) Really?

Me: Yup.

[Aside: I did not tell that despite having achieved this goal it was still a primary driver for much of my life.]

Question #2

Alex: What did you enjoy doing when you were my age?

Me: Pretty much the same stuff you like doing. I played all kinds of sports. I read a lot. I listened to loud music. And I liked hanging out with my friends.

Alex (nodding): Yup.

Me (to myself): Nailed that one!

Question #3

Alex: What did you like and dislike about growing up?

Me: Well, I liked that I was getting taller and stronger and that I could do things that I couldn’t do when I was younger. I liked having more responsibility and staying up later and stuff like that.

What I didn’t like was that my voice sometimes cracked while it was changing, which made me sound funny. And I really didn’t like how I sometimes felt awkward when I was around kids who I thought were cooler than me. I was always afraid I was going to say the wrong thing and then everyone would think I was a bozo.

Alex: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Me: You do?

Alex: Yeah, I’ve felt that way before.

Me: Well, guess what? Everyone feels that way sometimes. So, don’t sweat it.

Alex (a little unsurely): Okay.

Me (to myself): He’s not buying it. Only partial credit on that one.

Question #4

Alex: How did you get answers to your questions about puberty and about growing up?

Me: Mostly from Zayde (the name my kids call their grandfather) and then some from school like you’re getting now. I also remember there was this TV movie called My Mom’s Having A Baby that came out when I was in 4th Grade. It was very specific about how babies are made.

Alex (incredulously): And they showed it on TV?

Me: Yeah. They told us to watch it with our parents and then discuss it afterward. Even after we watched it and talked about it, I was still a little unclear on how the sperm got into the woman’s body to fertilize the egg. So, Zayde drew a picture.

Alex: He drew a picture?!?

Me: Yup. And then I was even more confused.

Alex: Wow.

Me: Yeah, wow.

Question #5

Alex: This is the last question.

Me: Okay, I’m ready.

Alex: What do you want me to know about growing up?

Me (after thinking for a moment): I want you to know that no matter how strange and weird you think the changes that are happening to your body and your thoughts and your dreams, it’s all perfectly normal. Okay?

Alex: Okay.

Me: Now, do you need me to write those answers down on your questionnaire.

Alex (looking horrified): Jeez, Dad. My health teacher doesn’t need to know this stuff. She just wants you to sign the page so that she knows I asked you the questions.

Me: Ah. That’s probably for the best.

♦◊♦

Last week, the entire 5th Grade at Alex’s school went on a harbor cruise to celebrate the end of elementary school. Parents were also invited on board to join in the festivities.

It was a beautiful night on the water after a long, hot day. The adults sat up on deck and enjoyed the freshening breeze while chatting amiably. Below deck, the kids gobbled snacks and danced to music that seemingly exists only to drive their parents to the classic rock stations.

As I leaned against the rail and inhaled the salty air, several parents approached me at different intervals with the same report.

“You ought to see your son,” they began. “He’s dancing up a storm down there.”

“Alex?” I replied, although he was the only son I had with me on this particular outing.

“Oh, yeah,” they insisted. “He’s a big hit.”

Soon, Alex emerged from the bad music pit to get some money from me to buy a soda. He was drenched in sweat from the top of his head nearly down to his waist. Apparently, the antiperspirant he had applied earlier was no match for “Gangnam Style” or whatever the hell they were playing down there.

“Dad,” he panted between gulps of Sprite, “they played a song I requested and then everybody made a circle around me and I danced to it.”

“So I heard.”

“I’m one of the only guys in my grade who would do something like that.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah, I’ve got some serious moves.” And with that, he handed me his empty cup and headed back to the dance floor.

Later, I snuck down below to see some of Alex’s moves for myself and perhaps film them for his mother to enjoy later. The room was hot and crowded and the music was earsplitting. Hanging back in corner with a couple of other parents, I soon spotted Alex amongst the crowd. His dancing was frenetic—arms and legs going in various directions in and out of time to the music. Occasionally, he would look to the ceiling and sort of gyrate as if his body parts were made of rubber. But, the overwhelming impression I got from his dancing is that he didn’t care at all what people thought of it. He just did what made him happy.

♦◊♦

As we walked back from the dock to the car after the cruise had ended, I showed him the video I had taken.

“So, where’d you get those moves?” I asked.

“We have a dance party every night at camp,” he replied. “That’s where I invented most of them.”

“Let me tell you something. I never would have had the guts to dance in front of my friends like that when I was your age.”

“Really?”

“Nope. And let me tell you something else. Don’t ever lose that confidence. It will serve you well.”

See, that’s the thing that I really wanted him to know about puberty. Despite all the changes, feeling good about yourself is perfectly normal too.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Copy That


This blog post from Temple Beth Shalom's CJ Kaplan originally appeared on The Good Men Project. If you have kids at overnight camp this summer or have in the past, you'll really appreciate this. If you like this essay follow this link to see his other essays on The Good Men Project.



CJ Kaplan finds out what it takes to be both a father and a brother to his son.

My little boy is at sea in every sense of the word. I stand beside him as he dives fearlessly into the rugged surf that pounds the shoreline of Gloucester’s Good Harbor Beach. It is one of those rare, precious days when the North Atlantic reluctantly grants elevated water temperatures in concert with the warm, summer air. This is a day that we will recall wistfully in January when winter is tearing at us with its icy fangs. And yet, despite the ideal conditions, my youngest child is adrift.

Eric has been in a semi-funk ever since his older brother left for overnight camp in New Hampshire two weeks ago. Alex is Eric’s hero, although even that lofty moniker seems grossly insufficient to describe their relationship. Eric worships Alex. Blessedly, Alex is the best kind of hero. He returns the love in equal measure.

Though Alex is ten and Eric is not quite six, they are a peer group unto themselves. The two of them spend nearly every second of free time with each other. When Alex gets together with his friends to play ball after school, Eric joins them. When Alex flips on the TV, Eric squeezes up next to him on the couch until the two of them are essentially occupying the same space. When Alex is invited to a sleepover party, Eric packs his pajamas and tags along.

Alex and Eric. Eric and Alex. They are a package deal.

When Alex decided to join his older sister at camp this year, we knew it would be a bumpy transition. I spent many summers at an overnight camp in Maine as a kid, and I was a big advocate of my children doing the same. My wife, who never spent a significant period of time away from home until she got to college, was a tougher sell. But, after seeing how much our daughter Samantha enjoyed the experience over the past two years, she was less reluctant with Alex.

So, a week after school ended this June we packed Samantha and Alex into the minivan and headed north. On the way there, Samantha did everything you could want a big sister to do. She told Alex about all the great things he’d get to do that summer. She placed special emphasis on all the sports he’d surely be playing, even though she herself favors the arts and culture side of camp. She even assuaged his fears about being away from home, saying that every night was like “a giant sleepover with your best friends.”

But, Alex still looked worried. Not about himself, as I guessed and later confirmed. But, about Eric.

We’d left Eric in the care of my mom that day. She took him to day camp in one car while we left with Samantha and Alex in the other. We figured it would be much easier to say goodbye at our house in private than in front of Alex’s new bunkmates. There were tears, but we got through it. Later, as Alex struggled with his own emotions while he watched us get into the minivan and leave, my wife voiced what both of us were thinking.

“How do you think Eric will be?” she asked.

The answer turned out to be mixed. Eric reveled in the undivided attention he suddenly commanded. There was always a parent available to play ball or make lunch or read books. He didn’t have to wait for anything. He’d even taken great delight in micromanaging the remote control to the point that he never had to watch a second of anything that didn’t interest him.

Then, there were other moments. Like recently, when I was writing to Alex and Eric was playing nearby.

“Is there anything you want me to tell Alex in my letter?” I asked.

“Tell him that I miss him so much that I cry sometimes,” replied Eric without hesitation.

Redacting like Viet Nam-era Army editor, I wrote: “Eric says that he misses you, but that’s he’s having lots of fun and hopes you are too.”

In hopes of helping Eric pass the time happily, I’ve fashioned myself into a surrogate Alex. I play all the games that Eric usually plays with Alex, including the ones that they’ve made up themselves. I sit and watch all the TV shows they enjoy together. I even try to match Eric’s enthusiasm for the Red Sox like Alex does, even though the team itself refuses to show any enthusiasm for the game of baseball. If nothing else, I am a physical presence that approximates Alex. I am a 43-year-old man pretending to be a 10-year-old boy.

And despite all that, here we are, standing in cathartic tides of Good Harbor on this impossibly beautiful summer day. And my son is still floating.

“Hey, Boo Bear,” I say as he dives over another wave. “You wanna learn how to bodysurf?”

“Sure,” he says.

I show him how to anticipate the break of a wave and then to dive ahead so you can feel it lift and carry you toward shore. At first, he is hesitant. But, gradually he trusts the waves and himself enough to succeed.

I applaud as he goes further and further with each attempt.

“Does Alex know how to bodysurf?” he asks as we wait for another swell.

“Yeah, I taught him a couple of years ago,” I reply.

“I can’t wait to show him now that I can do it,” he says, smiling.

At that moment, my wife wades in to join us. Upon seeing Eric catch a wave and ride it a few yards, she cheers.

“I can see Daddy has taught you everything in his bag of tricks,” she jokes.

“Yeah, I was copying him,” boasts Eric. “That’s how you learn. From copying your Daddy.”

That may be so. But, sometimes you also learn from copying your son.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Brotherhood and our community celebrate "Jews Clues"



It was a beautiful Sunday morning and we were preparing to host the kick-off of the "Jews Clues - You're doing it all wrong" World Synagogue Tour - 5772. Everything was indicating that this event, a TBS community celebration of the authors, CJ Kaplan and Mitch Blum was going to be a smashing success. We were celebrating the accomplishment of someone in our men's community and the theme was Jewish humor with a traditional breakfast being served.

Something that our whole community could relate to and enjoy.

Thank you to everyone who made our celebration special (over 70 attendees), to our expert kitchen crew, to Mimi & Linda for creating the awesome cover art "Jews Clues" platter and of course to CJ & Mitch for sharing your humor and stories with everyone. We hope that the tour makes it on to the "Daily Show with John Stewart" and maybe as an encore at TBS as the tour comes home.